A Look At Osteoporosis Diagnosis In The Future
Did you ever try to imagine what our world will be like in the year 2050? While watching the news last night, I asked myself the question and, not surprisingly, my thoughts quickly led to – what else…our bone health. Even though increasingly negative news about osteoporosis drugs keeps popping-up in the media, we really don’t know what the long-term outcome will be. In other words, will doctors still prescribe osteoporosis medicines in the future?
With that in mind, I came up with two imaginary opposing scenarios for the year 2050, as reflected in a news broadcast. One is where the “cure” of osteoporosis and osteopenia revolves around prescription drugs, similar to nowadays. The second scenario pictures a world where everyone manages their health in a natural and drug-free way.
Oh! And please don’t forget that what you’re about to read is ONLY the product of my imagination. So join me on a time travel trip to the year 2050…
Here’s the first scenario
Good news for those diagnosed with osteoporosis. Pharmaceutical giant Profit & Gamble announced today that the FDA has finally approved their new drug Cementex to treat advanced osteoporosis. Dee Seat, a spokesperson for the company, told WBS News this morning that “we are thrilled to launch our latest drug that will help millions afflicted with osteoporosis, a crippling and potentially deadly disease. Thanks to Cementex, we can guarantee to both women and men a fracture-free future”.
Unlike current osteoporosis treatments, Cementex requires only one dose that will last a lifetime. It is injected directly into the bones under light sedation, and the whole procedure typically takes no more than a couple of hours.
Ms. Seat went on to explain that reported side-effects are negligible: “The most common side effect is stiffening of the joints, which happens when Cementex leaks out to the cartilage and joints, affecting mostly the knees, elbows and fingers. We can cure osteoporosis, but unfortunately, we can’t fight gravity…yet.”
Doctors can easily treat this side-effect and the occasional pain by prescribing Dieoxx , a new drug developed by Quirck & Co..WBS was not able to reach anyone at Quirck to get more information on this drug.
Ms. Seat also confirmed that Cementex is covered by Mediscare, and that the first one thousand patients will receive a $200 discount coupon toward the purchase of a wheelchair, compliments of Profit & Gamble.
Stay tuned because when we come back, we’ll show you the latest umbrella designs that are stylish and give you 100% protection from acid rain…
Here’s the second scenario
TNN just got news that pharmaceutical giant Quirck & Co. filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy protection. Quirck is one more casualty added to the long list of prescription drug manufacturers that have had trouble with the dwindling demand for their products.
“We regret that this is yet one more drug producer that has failed” said Roland Paulman, a spokesman for the privately owned Health and Human Services Marketing, Inc., “but consumers are staying away from the type of drugs they manufacture”. He went on to comment that “This is further proof that our aggressive Just Say No to Prescription Drugs campaign continues to show great results. Ultimately, patients make their own decisions, and the trend clearly points to an ever increasing choice of natural supplements and herbal remedies.”
We were not able to reach anyone at Quirck & Co. However, TNN’s financial sources told us that it’s been long known that Preventive Medicine was taking a big bite out of the now doomed company’s profits. In the last twenty years osteoporosis, arthritis, heart ailments, and diabetes, to name a few, have literally become a thing of the past.
Among the sector’s biggest gainers is Natural Supplements, Inc. Upon hearing Quirck’s filing, investors rushed to purchase Natural’s shares causing an unprecedented rally. Our financial correspondent at the New York Stock Exchange reports that Natural Supplement’s shares have gone up by more than 5% in today’s trading session.
When we come back, we’ll interview Dee Tocks, the owner of Stay Healthy Walk-in Centers, a nationwide franchise. You won’t believe what she has to say about the reduced visit prices starting next month, and she’ll reveal who qualifies for the new Stay Healthy mail-in rebate.
Whoa! Back to reality now